Warning: this article contains lots of information about sex!
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I had to tell my partner that I was writing this article, not because I was going to be using him as a guinea pig or reference but literally because I know, once I type on my laptop the phrase ‘old people having sex’ the topic will come back to haunt me.
I will be bombarded by companies that want to sell me sex toys or dating sites that want to match me up with swingers! Neither of which I am interested in, there’s nothing wrong with any of that, it’s just not my cup of tea.
When I started my research for this article and typed in ‘Sex for the 50+’ I couldn’t believe what results came up. Huge amounts of information about our bodies, sexuality, toys, swingers, porn, movies and a lot more explicit things. I thought I was open-minded and experienced but boy did I get a shock!
In this article we are briefly going to cover:
- How our bodies change as we age
- Our libido
- Sexual preferences
- Books about sex
- Sex toys
So, here we go…
How our bodies change as we age
Boy, has my body changed over the years – I’ve gone from an athletic dancer to a mum, to a woman ‘post’ full hysterectomy to a woman just about in her 50’s. I am fighting against the 50+ flab, the bat wings, Benidorm belly and the orange peel total body coverage. I’m not doing too bad but I refuse to get naked with the lights on, I know a lot of women can relate to that. My ‘pull everything in’ knickers aren’t so comfortable anymore and wearing bikinis could become a thing of the past soon.
I’m not unusual for my age, everyone’s body shape changes as they get older. The human body is made up of fat, tissue, muscle, organs, bones and water and as we age we:
- Lose lean tissue
- Lose vital organ cells
- Lose minerals from our bones and the bones become weaker
Our body fat levels go up after age 30, we get shorter, our feet change shape, our joints get stiffer and muscles get weaker. Women tend to gain weight up until the age of 65 and lose weight as muscle turns to fat and men tend to get to 55 and the same happens.
Let’s get physical!
Diet and exercise habits can play a large role in a person’s weight changes over their lifetime. There are measures that you can take to reduce age-related body changes or help delay them:
- Get regular exercise
- Eat a healthy diet that includes fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and the right amounts of healthy fats
- Limit your alcohol use
- Avoid tobacco products and illicit drugs
- Have sex!
Let’s talk about sex…
Loss of libido (sex drive) is a common problem that affects many men and women. As we age, our sex drive can go down – men’s testosterone levels drop especially after the age of 40 and most men will experience erectile dysfunction at some point in their life. Loss of sex drive is often linked to relationship issues, stress or tiredness, but can be a sign of an underlying medical problem. If there is a serious concern about your libido you should seek expert medical advice.
It is quite common for the older generation to practice more ‘outercourse’ than ‘intercourse’. Choosing to use toys, massage, oral sex etc… As men age, it sometimes takes things a bit longer than normal to get hard and an erection can become a bit iffy – don’t be discouraged, there’s plenty of other ways that you can have fun!
Read more about ‘outercourse’.
Change of sexuality as you age
Our tastes and choices change in lots of ways as we age and that can include our preference for sexual partners. It may not be intended, it could be a case of you meet someone of the same sex and sparks fly! You may never have been attracted to someone of the same sex in the past but something suddenly feels right.
Sometimes people struggle with their sexuality, after all, there are plenty to choose from…
A person who likes to have sex with someone of the opposite sex.
A person who likes to have sex with someone of the same sex.
A person who likes to have sex with either the opposite or same sex.
A person who likes to have sex with people of all sexual orientation.
A person who doesn’t get aroused by either sex.
Swinging for the 50+
Sexual desires can change too as you age, whether that be on your own or with your partner. You may want to be experimental and try sex with another couple. If that appeals to you, you could always join the Senior Swingers Club. Make sure before you try this, that you and your partner realise the impact of doing something like this will have on your relationship – emotionally and physically.
Whilst doing my research I came across some interesting books.
Make your own sex toys
Giving new meaning to the expression “take pleasure into your own hands,” Make Your Own Sex Toys is a witty yet practical guide featuring how-to directions for 50 inventive DIY accoutrements. Readers can whip up the Knitted Willy Warmer for cold winter nights, get turned on with the Electro Stimu vibrator, or assemble the Mutual Member double-dildo to cheer up a lonely friend.
The Sex Bible For People Over 50: The Complete Guide to Sexual Love for Mature Couples
Sex post-50 can be the best ever, but it requires a different skill-set — more communication, longer foreplay, different positions, sexual toys and aids — to stay hot and exciting. It also needs to accommodate the myriad of physical, emotional, and social changes that happen in late middle-age.
Sex toy purchases
Love Honey are sexual happiness people and they make a fun, fulfilling sex life available to everyone. They are the UK’s biggest online adult retailer and 1 in 3 sex toys sold online in the UK comes from their warehouse in Bath.
Ann Summers claim to be the pioneers of pleasure! They stand for sexual liberation, experimentation and mind-blowing satisfaction. Established for over 40 years, they proudly boast that they have sold over 2 million rampant rabbits!
Hot sex toys for the menopausal woman
A guide to vibrators for women over 50
Released in 2009 and clocking in at a whopping 120-minutes It’s Complicatedfollows the story of Jane Adler (Meryl Streep) and Jake Adler (Alec Baldwin) a divorced couple who reignite their passion when they are reunited at their son’s college graduation. The two share a drunken night of sex and ignite an affair as Jake has married the woman that he had an affair with that ended their marriage. Things get “complicated” when Jane falls for her equally aged architect Adam Schaffer (Steve Martin).
Play the game
By far the worst movie on this list when it comes to basic storytelling and screenwriting but that’s beside the point- let’s get down to the old person sex. Play the Game is different from the other movies on this list because it actually features OLD people having sex, this was Andy Griffith’s last film before he died. Play the Game is the story of Grandpa Joe (Andy Griffith) a widower and his grandson David who tries to teach him how to “play the game” with the ladies at his senior citizen community.
Somethings gotta give
Written and directed by Nancy Meyer’s, the same woman who brought us It’s Complicated, Something’s Gotta Give is the tale of Harry Sanborn (Jack Nicholson) an old lecher who never settled down and Erica Barry (Diane Keaton) the mother of the young woman that Harry has been courting. At first, the two are at each other’s throat due to the fact that Harry is 40 years older than Erica’s daughter. Once Harry has a heart attack Erica is forced to house him until their love grows and eventually they have an intense sex scene where Harry literally cuts Erica’s dress off with scissors. Harry pisses Erica off by going on a date with a younger woman.
Another one starring Meryl Streep Hope Springs is about Kay (Streep) and Arnold Soames (Tommy Lee Jones) an old married couple who have lost all of the passion in their lives. They enlist the help of Dr Bernie Feld (Steve Carell), a marriage counsellor, to help them spark their sexual drive. The whole movie is literally about the two not being able to have sex with each other.
‘Meet the Fokkens’
This documentary is literally about old people having sex. Specifically the Fokken twins, the oldest prostitutes in Amsterdam’s red light district. The two 70-year-old prostitutes are on the verge of retirement and film documents their combined 100-year career in which they have serviced over 10,000 “clients”. Equally hilarious, heartwarming, and sad Meet the Fokkens is a really solid documentary that can be viewed on Netflix.
Don’t forget to clear your search history if you don’t want sex-related information popping up on your computer or phone!
We hope you found this article interesting and it hasn’t offended anyone.
** The content on this site should not be used as medical advice, we are giving our readers information and insights. If you are concerned about your health or need medical advice please see your doctor. If you are struggling with any issues please talk to someone – don’t suffer in silence. **