‘Bunny boiler’ is a term normally used for women that show obsessive and dangerous behaviour when stalking a lover.
The film ‘Fatal Attraction’ starring Glen Close is where the term originated from.
These days, the term ‘bunny boiler’ is used by people that enter into a relationship with a woman who turns out to be ‘too enthusiastic’.
Maybe she’s texting all the time and moaning that he doesn’t return her calls or she turns up at a home uninvited. Does that really mean that she is a bunny boiler or just a ‘boundary-challenged’ enthusiastic lover who could, in fact, be a good catch?
I get it, it’s tough being a guy and trying to read or understand women. The same goes for women reading and understanding men but we will cover that in another article.
Single men and relationships…
I’ve spoken to single men about this topic on many occasions and I’ve been told that a lot of men class single women over the age of 40, either ‘a bunny boiler’, ‘damaged goods’, ‘a gold digger’ or ‘high maintenance’. They say the odds are low for them finding a ‘good catch’ these days.
A day with 6 men…
I spent a day with 6 men climbing the highest mountain in the UK in the foggiest conditions so there was no point in stopping and taking in the views. Instead, I just listened to them opening up about their lives and relationships it was very insightful. Their willingness to share their opinions and thoughts was interesting, men appear to be more open about things in life these days.
Having spoken to those men and other men that I have met, I find myself in a position where I want to help men in some way. It appears a lot of men really do want to settle with a good catch but are very scared – by age 40+, single and most probably stung by a previous relationship, how can they stand a chance of finding true love and long-lasting friendship?
Dear all bewildered single men who want to find a good catch…
Let’s pretend you’ve found a woman that you think could be a good catch.
- Do your research – what is she really like? Don’t guess! Watch the film ‘What women want’
- Invest time and use good time management – if you want a relationship, make time for it
- Monitor your return on investment – give a lot and see if you like what you get in return (I don’t mean materialistically)
- Go for training if you are struggling – read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus for starters
Do your research
Buy a notebook and pen – make observations about your woman for a few months:
- Her monthly cycle
- Mood swings
- Triggers for emotional behaviour
- Things that make her happy
- Things that you do that make her unhappy
- What is her baggage – not her handbag, I mean her family situation?
- What is her emotional baggage?
There’s always a reason for things, if you care – find the reason and deal with it.
Invest time and use good time management
- Using your research, pinpoint the best time of the month when you know you can reason with her – this is normally the week after her period finishes
- During the week leading up to her period reply to all texts and telephone calls, compliment her and sympathize with her
- Whilst on her period it is advisable to text or phone her spontaneously asking her if there is anything you can do to make her life easier
- Mid-cycle can be touch and go, so, the odd bottle of wine, chocolates or flowers might help keep her sweet but be cautious, she may think you are up to something
- If you want brownie points send at least an ‘X’ by text message now and then
- If she won’t stop crying just say to her ‘I want to understand you, help me understand you’
- If the woman you are dating has had a hysterectomy and doesn’t have a ‘cycle’ you will need to come up with a different strategy
Go for training
If you are struggling to sustain a relationship or understand women there is plenty of advice out there for you.
The Wife Zone is a very entertaining, eye-opening short video on YouTube. Guaranteed to make you laugh.
Watch the ‘Wife zone’ .
Matthew Hussey is a British dating coach, he does some great videos on YouTube to help with relationships.
Monitor your return on investment
If you feel you have tried your best to please your good catch and things just aren’t working for you, be brave, explain why and make a break. It’s not fair to either of you to keep trying and wasting years of your life unhappy.
Nobody is perfect…
There are a lot of single women out there that are over the age of 40 who are indeed ‘a good catch’ even if they have ‘bunny boiler’ tendencies. Nobody is perfect but it is possible to find someone who is perfect for you even with baggage or who is boundary-challenged.
How can you tell if the woman you are seeing is a bunny boiler or good catch?
I’m afraid all I can say is only time will tell…
The film Fatal Attraction does indicate some major red flags for you to look out for in your relationship.
If the woman you have been dating is a bunny boiler and you decide to break up with her – be sensitive, and, put your pets into hiding for 6 months.